minge

Oh come on, mucky internet Miley Cyrus pictures were always an inevitability - she’s both a tween star and a country singer’s daughter, for god’s sake.
So don’t act all surprised now that a set of photos of 15-year-old Miley Cyrus yanking down her top to show off her bra and rolling around on a boy’s lap in just her underwear have emerged. And don’t act all alarmed either - although admittedly it’s not perfect role model behaviour, Miley Cyrus is a normal teenage girl, and this is what all normal teenage girls do.
Wait, no, actually that’s wrong - what we meant to say there was that this is what all normal teenage girls do in the minds of creepy old yellow-toothed men who hang around school gates at playtime and faintly smell of stale semen. But that’s close enough. Congratulations Miley Cyrus! You’re living the dream!
We all know how important it is to fit in with your peers. That’s why people play golf - nobody actually likes golf, they just start playing it because someone they work with plays it. It’s a self-perpetuating spiral of misery, golf.
Anyway, fitting in with your peers is even harder when you’re a tween sensation, because it means you have to debase yourself on a regular basis. As soon as, say, Vanessa Hudgens gets her tits and minge out in a photo, then Jamie Lynn Spears has to have underage sex until she’s pregnant just to keep up. It’s like the golf thing, but more appealing to paedophiles.
However, on tween star had managed to rise above the depravity - Miley Cyrus. Daughter of Achy Breaky Heart singer Billy Ray Cyrus and the star of TV shows, sold out tours, a number one movie and more opportunistic merchandise that you could scuttle an oil tanker with, the most trouble that Miley Cyrus had ever been in is when she didn’t wear a seatbelt once. But that’s all changed now.

hecklerspray.com


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