The ever-growing non-hetero acronym: LBGT…Q?…hmm…did we already say B?…is there a dollar sign in there somewhere? We’re not homophobic—we’re not even sure which letters homophobia applies to—but this acronym is out of hand. A good, memorable abbreviation should have four letters or fewer. How about just “Misc.”?
Grand Central Bowl: Bowling alleys are supposed to be seedy. The rental shoes are supposed to smell weird. You’re supposed to drink rotgut well drinks and eat Tater Tots that went straight from freezer to deep fat fryer. The owners are supposed to be lumpy, middle-aged men named Lenny with hacking coughs. But at Southeast’s new, swankified Grand Central Bowl, meatheads man velvet ropes, sushi shows up on the menu, bartenders muddle, and the crowd has that same desperately cool leather-jacket-and-$100-jeans look native to the Doug Fir. It’s uglier than Lenny ever could be.
Washington drivers on the Fremont Bridge: Anyone who regularly exits the Fremont Bridge to North Kerby Avenue during rush hour knows and despises these invaders from the north. They cruise innocently down the far-right exit-only lane, past the gridlock on their left that waits to merge onto I-5 North. Only pale blue Washington license plates hint at their sinister intent. Just as they reach the exit-ramp junction and you dare to hope they’re actually getting off, these vile Washingtonians slam on their brakes, flip on their turn signals and begin to force their way over a lane, pinning all the actually exiting drivers behind them. Sure, these drivers are mostly from Vancouver, which is probably punishment enough, but then again, why are they in such a hurry to get home?
Christmas at the Zoo: Seriously? Have you seen this place? Sitting on some of the most expensive retail real estate in Portland, between Burnside and Everett on Northwest 23rd Avenue, this store somehow stays in business year-round selling nothing but Christmas ornaments with animal themes. It’s still better than another Pottery Barn.

wweek.com


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